In my life, I’ve had relationships where trust and loyalty and faith in each other were virtually absent. Whether it was only one of us or it went both ways, we tried so hard to cage and control and restrain each other because of our own insecurities in the relationship.
With Will, I’ve found that my insecurity has disappeared over time without me even noticing. I can’t lie and say I wasn’t plagued by past relationships when we started dating, but at some point I saw things clearly and realized that, hey, I’ve known this person for more than a decade, I know the man he is, and I’ve got nothing to worry about. That being said, I have no reason or desire to control Will in any way because I have faith in his judgement and his priorities. He has shown me how valuable I am to him and because of that, I have confidence in our commitment to our life and to each other.
I’ve talked to a lot of people who try so hard to control their significant others, and that significant other cheating as a result. People ask me if I’m worried that Will might cheat when we’re apart for months. Honestly, what he chooses to do is none of my business because while we work to build a life together, we are still our own individuals. If he ever chooses to be disloyal to our relationship, then I should be strong enough to walk away. It’s simple: we both see the value in our relationship and therefore don’t abuse the freedom we give each other.
I can’t control the actions of others, but I can control how I will react.
I was tagged by engagedlaura (basically you make a new post listing 5 random things about yourself and tag people to do the same.)
1) One of my greatest fears is becoming blind.
2) Will, Tiger and I are going to be living in Japan for a few years and I am so excited. My only concern is Tiger getting there safely and comfortably.
3) I have mild OCD caused by traumatic events in my life. Some of my ticks include putting my left shoe on first, but tying my right shoe first, locking the door twice and silently counting to eight after a man walks past me in the opposite direction. Other ticks, like rationing food on my plate, are caused by my past struggles with an eating disorder.
4) I used to be painfully shy as a child, but have (mostly) grown out of it.
5) I love my family and friends to death, but also equally enjoy being alone and doing things on my own.